Rrrraaawwwwrrrrrrr. Scratch.

Leaving for Brunei

2006-04-30T23:59:00.000-07:00

Once again I am dishonestly appropriating the use of April 30th in an attempt to get my post archive to say "April 2006" instead of transiting directly between "March" and "May." Clever huh.

Well, nothing much to say... training is as it has always has been; I'm happy to have passed my IPPT and SEOC veto factors for pro term so I have not much to worry about unless they OOC me for performance/injury.

Going off for Lancer on May 8th. A bit nervous about the heat and the contour lines - the map is freaking scary. o_O But yes, I do plan on living to tell the tale.

Oh dang it my flooble chatterbox has expired.

Pro Term

2006-03-25T17:30:00.000-08:00

Pro Term is here! Marched into SAFTI this morning with the junior cadets lined up cheering for us - makes me feel (very slightly) remorseful for what I might be doing to them in a week's time. Oh well. Everyone goes through the same thing, mwahahaha.

Our 23km route march was a test in every sense of the word. It wasn't physical but mental exhaustion that made the march difficult - the sheer boredom of having to keep walking in the dark, the feeling of wanting to fall asleep towards the end, the silence... actually, only platoon 2 was silent. Platoon 3 in particular went crazy with some kind of "brain drain" song, and sustained the single line "This is a song that irritates you" for the whole last leg of the march. That's resilience. I respect that. But yes, it did irritate me.

They did manage to cheat us of some distance - it's obvious we marched at least 2-3km more than 23km. Oh well. It goes down as a 23km route march for the symbolism I suppose. Although we should technically have 24, not 23 weeks left... strange.

The ceremony on top of Elephant Hill was fairly unremarkable - won't go down as the most emotional moment of my army career for sure... this maybe partly due to the inadequacy of the sound system. Still, it had some meaning - Dennis managed to engineer it so that we changed our epaulettes for each other again, as we did for the transition to service term. And the view was nice, can't deny that.

This route march also represented the conclusion of my use of my size-8 boots. They have served me well. I now have bigger fish to fry. Or rather, bigger boots to wear (size 9 Gore-Tex! whoo!). I don't really support frying fish, it's a bit unhealthy.

I have thigh abrasions the diameter of teacups. New record. Was waddling like a duck on the way back (incidentally, we bumped into Alpha Coy at the PLC SOC ground; Julian, you look very happy doing fatigue duty instead of running :P ).

So, the start of a new term and the end of a tumultuous but fulfilling one. Should probably define part of the reason for my use of "tumultuous" - am in the process of clearing 7 extra (actually, once you go above 4, it doesn't really seem like a lot). I'm happy and thankful that I've made it this far, but I'm also a bit sad about what needs to be left behind. Will miss the old Section 3 as we get reshuffled.

Pro Term presents a variety of new challenges - SEOC, Brunei, Taiwan, CSB, etc. I suppose the best thing to do is to take it one day at a time, and to look forward to all the long weekends we have been promised. Mwahaha.

Zebra and Spade

2006-03-05T15:35:00.000-08:00

Just got back from platoon field camp. After "exercise cut" on Spade I was completely concussed, mainly because I'd only had 4 hours of sleep over the 3 days of Ex. Zebra and Spade. It's a weird feeling... you can talk to people without really thinking about what you're saying or doing. It's like your mouth is moving automatically while your brain has already shut down. Pretty cool.

Anyway was exercise PS for Zebra. That was fun... FBO all the way over 8km for about 6 hours before we assaulted. Was ok during the planning and movement phase... seriously, holding an appointment must increase your combat fitness by tenfold, otherwise I'd never have got through it. Assault was a bit cocked up since my reserve coordination was all over the place, but really it was my fault. Anyway we did win the battle in the end. ^_^

Carried home this weekend lots of sleep deprivation, a completely numb right big toe, lots of small cuts on my hands from mimosa (this from proning in the wrong place when I was MG gunner during platoon battle course), and of course a lot of shit that needs to come out. Interestingly enough there was an outhouse where we harboured. Who knows where the heck it came from. o_O

Oh well. It was a fun field camp, except for the digging part. I can conclusively say I hate digging and am really no good at it. Don't make me do it again, especially dehydrated and half-asleep. Argh.

Congrats to all the new corporals if you're reading this... have fun in ASLC. :P At least for you guys the end is in sight. I will (still hopefully) remain an OCT for an unbelievably long time yet. [whacks head against wall]

Well, that's it for now. Need to go get some sleep.

Something for February

2006-02-28T23:59:00.000-08:00

Wow. It's been so long since I last logged in that it took me 3 tries to get the password right.

The time now is 1520 on March 5th (and incidentally the weather is clear), but I'm posting this for February anyway. That is because I would be bothered should the archive transit straight from January 2006 to March 2006.

Cheers. :D

OCS

2006-01-15T12:35:00.000-08:00

The first and foremost thing I have to say about SAFTI MI is that they understand bread. It's brilliant. I think I'm being spoiled. Maybe I should request the introduction of wholemeal, otherwise I might develop a dependence on my comprehensive diet of white and butter.

Coming into OCS on the 19th of December (can't believe it's been 4 weeks) was a real culture shock - even more so than BMT. At least, coming from an international school background, I was used to moving about and meeting new and different types of people, which made my BMT transition easier. But when you enter OCS, it's not the different cultural or social backgrounds of the cadets that make integration a stressful experience - it's the fact that everyone there has spent some time in the army already, and everyone has their own way of doing things. This is especially true of the MOCCs and air force/navy regulars. For me, it was frustrating to have to unlearn some of the things taught to me at an earlier stage, and then to be forced to relearn methods that made little sense in the greater scheme of things.

Of course, I've since adjusted and things in that respect have become easier. After that, it was just a matter of accepting the higher standards of discipline and physical training expected of us as officer cadets. Right now, 34 more weeks seems an eternity away, and what drives me ahead on a moment-to-moment basis is not so much the thought of commissioning, but the idea of working for my own personal pride and proving to myself that I have what it takes to be a successful SAF officer. And if for some reason I don't make it to the end, at least I can say I gave it all I had and I was rewarded with all it had to give me.

I remember what I was like as a recruit; at least I'm not making the same mistakes as a cadet. I'm learning a lot - not only in terms of practical knowledge but also about myself and my potential strengths and weaknesses as a leader. And I'm quite proud of the fact that I can run 2.4km in 10:20, which I would have said was a crazy timing 3 months ago (and which is actually below average here, dang it). So, I'm working on it.

I'll also try to work on posting more often, since I did start this blog a couple of months ago with the intention of recording my NS life. Oh well. Shall now dash off to try and make the most of my weekend. Cheers.

(Incidentally, with regards to the starting of this blog, if you haven't already done so there's an interesting little unoriginal story in the June 2005 archives called "Billy and the Passionfruit" which could do with some reading. Have a nice week.) :D

POP: H05 S01 B09

2005-12-12T17:50:00.000-08:00

It's true what they say, that when you look back you only remember the good things. Maybe that's why I'm finding this so difficult to write, since so many good things happened during my BMT experience that I can't hope to fit them all in here, much less do any of them justice. As for the bad things, well, let's just leave them locked in cupboard 13 for awhile.

There's a sign at TFT that we see as we book in every week - "BMT: It's not what you leave behind, it's what you'll gain in the days ahead." When I first saw it I was still a civilian, stepping onto Tekong with my parents with precisely that kind of mindset. I thought I would stand to gain something substantial from NS - what exactly I didn't know; maybe maturity, maybe greater discipline, maybe self-control and personal composure. What I gained was none of the above, yet something singular and completely different - friends, and hopefully lasting ones.

To my section mates especially - Shao Wen, Ibkaar, Nick, Aaron, Ryan, Greg, Duan, Enrique, Xavier, Julian, Nizam - thanks for making the whole thing so much more than tolerable. Congrats... we all made it. I'm gonna miss our bunk.

I don't regret any of my BMT experience. Not even that hellish first week as armskote 2IC, or consistently making mistakes in front of the commanders and PC (who I found, as time went on, to have his own problems and perfectly human flaws), or - actually - the whole first 6-7 weeks, during which I suffered from a tired combination of bad luck and simple blurness, but which now seem like a distant memory. I now realize that all those episodes were just passing moments and, looking back on the whole thing, I can say that none of them were as serious as they seemed to me to be, and that in the truly important things - in making friends and dealing with people and maintaining my own integrity - I've not compromised myself. And, in the end, I got the hang of things after all.

Nonetheless, if I may be so permitted to say, BMT is almost absolutely about what you leave behind. It's about no hair, no junk food, and lacking the freedom of civilian life. I don't mean that in a bad way - I just mean you learn to appreciate it all a little more.

I don't think I've necessarily come out of Pulau Tekong a better person. Still, I've gained a lot of lasting memories from the experience. Perhaps the one that encompasses them all, for me, would be our marching back onto the floodlit parade square at the end of our 24km graduation route march, high-porting our arms, singing at the tops of our voices and then finishing it by marking time, everyone raising their legs to a perfect 90 degrees, our sore feet banging convincingly onto the ground in perfect time; and then stopping and hearing Sgt. Elias say that finally, he has seen the true spirit of platoon 5. That feeling of pride and triumph and personal accomplishment, I think, will stay with me for a long while yet.

Field Camp

2005-11-19T12:50:00.000-08:00

Well I suppose I should update about field camp. I guess I'll just cover the few choice memories:

1. Discovering at the halfway point during the first route march that yes, it is in fact possible for smoke to come out of your shoulders. Copiously.

2. My first combat ration (lunch). Glutinous rice with chicken, I think, one of the better ones. The pasta rations were generally better than the rice ones though.

3. Horlicks malties. Lots of them. ^_^ And fruit bars and biscuits and Lipton Ice Tea.

4. Powder baths. Chilly but you feel clean (that is until you go back to coy line and shower and see just how dirty you have become).

5. Cat. 1 on day 2 catching us off-guard and causing me to run to the shed with my bootlaces untied, garters off and gore-tex jacket half-on.

6. "I will not dig a trench without my helmet!" and running round the con-wire.

7. Admitting to leaving my ET stuff unattended when it wasn't actually me (dammit I still keep messing up in front of the PC).

8. Combing the area for someone's washer.

9. 2nd route-march. Much less tiring.

10. Building bashas at night. Lots of shouting and arguing and frustration, especially due to alignment and spacing issues. Quarreled with my buddy but we understand each other better now. :D

11. Leopard-crawling platoon level down the entire line of bashas.

12. Taking a shit on the 4th day. An eye-opening experience (and very much nose-opening too).

13. Technical break and fresh rations (woohoo!). Never complaining about lack of variety in cookhouse food again.

14. Trying to find the idiot who ran from one end of the campsite to the other half-naked and without his rifle to hide behind a tree. Nearly destroyed our technical break.

15. Rain on the 4th night. Basha flooded. Waterproof/non-waterproof sides = nonsense. Hmph.

16. 3rd route-march. I am convinced it was more than 4km. Grr.

17. Taking a shit on the 5th night. It's assuredly much harder to shit when you can't see where you're shitting.

18. Sleeping on an open groundsheet and flat ground for the first time. Thought it would be the first night where I'd sleep more than 3-4 hours.

19. Thought wrong. Slept at 2200, rained at 2300. Wet and miserable. Whole section huddled in a circle to get warm (except Duan, that crazy guy; can sleep through anything). Sang Lion King songs. Whole company made small fires and ended up getting yelled at by Rusty/Hamster for late Deepavali.

20. Sentry duty 0200-0300 with Greg. Nice to sit under the training shed and be sheltered from the rain. Mwahaha. Turned out to be quite an interesting hour. Someone's platoon mates brought him in shivering and unresponsive, almost like hypothermia. Had all the commanders worried. Another guy rushed in panicking cos a centipede bit him in the ass. The medic treated this with characteristic indifference (i.e. "Go back, it's nothing to fuss about").

21. Waking up the medic after breakfast only to find that he was "out of plasters." Suuuure.

22. Taking a shit on the 6th day with people firing blanks across the road.

23. Digging shellscrapes. The most exhausting thing I have ever done, but the most rewarding night of sleep ever. Had some strange dreams that night.

24. Losing my grenade at BIC. Not my fault though, someone picked it up. Found another grenade later anyway. :D

25. Heavy rain right after BIC as we were marching back to coy line. Brilliant - just like a free shower.

I'm proud I went through the whole thing. Didn't report sick once, didn't take a "holiday." At least I can say that I did it.

SIT test tomorrow. How depressing, ahha.

Hawkguar

2005-10-21T23:25:00.000-07:00

First book-out!

The feeling when you step out of the fastcraft onto Singaporean soil is incredible. (The fastcraft is, for the record, the slowest ferry ever to have been constructed by man). Still, I have never felt better about stepping off a boat.

Am in Hawk Coy, the first company in the history of BMTC to have 5 platoons. We've topped up the existing 4 Hawk (PTP) platoons. Platoon 5 is also the only platoon in the history of BMTC to contain 5 sections instead of 4. So we're staying in Jaguar bunks.

Actually, we may as well be Jaguar Coy, since our PC, PS, and sergeants are all from Jaguar, so we get treated differently to Hawk 1-4. I actually have Arthur's old commanders.

Section mates are great - I'm bunking in the same section (1) as Nick Keong and Julian, so that was cool when we found out. Our section seems to be the "overseas" section - most of us have studied overseas or in international schools at some point or another. We're also generally the youngest, although there is this other Chinese guy from section 5 who was born in '88. He doesn't speak any English but he can number off, which is good enough I guess. :D

Physically it's not been that bad yet - got a silver for my cat. IPPT so that was encouraging. But my left knee is starting to swell up after all the footdrills/stomping and jumping, so I'm going to have to watch that. Also felt a shot of numbness down the left side of my right hand during training - hence nervous about my elbows as well. I guess we'll see how it goes.

Nonetheless army life is pretty hectic and takes some getting used to. I was hopelessly blur and very stressed out for the first few days, but it gets better once you adapt to the routine. I still seem to consistently mess up in front of the PC though, ahha. o_O

Note to self: Very annoyed at the guy who keeps shouting "Platoon 5 fall in" every time he walks by our section. I actually preferred it when he was in the Hokkien-singing phase.

So, booking in Sunday evening - in the meantime I'm going to enjoy what free time I have left. This includes sleep - lots of it. Cheers. :D

Enlistment Matters

2005-10-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm going in tomorrow.

Played my last round of golf for 2 months yesterday. It ranks as my best at Seletar:

Hole 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Par 5 3 4 3 4 5 4 4 4 36
Score 7 4 5 3 6 7 4 4 5 45

So I'm quite happy with that. Julian had his nice farewell to golf, I've had mine. ^_^

I suppose it's time to say goodbye to my civilian lifestyle for the next two years. I keep thinking of the small luxuries of everyday life that I'll be missing - mostly the freedom of choice accorded to me from day to day, even in seemingly the most trivial of matters. But I'm starting to realize that this has been a privelege rather than a right, and maybe two years in the army will teach me to treasure what I have better.

I'm nervous, curious, excited, disoriented, and relieved all at the same time. I start a new chapter of my life tomorrow, and I'm not sure if I'm ready. Don't have much of a choice now though. ^_^ I committed myself to this and I'll see it through, with God as my guide.

Will check back in two weeks.

Cheers.

The Terry Fox Run

2005-10-03T21:10:00.000-07:00

I realize I have been totally remiss in failing to post about the Terry Fox Run. I mean... I went through all that trouble and it took up a whole Sunday morning last month, so I may as well make a note of it for future reference.

The run was on Sept. 18th... it was raining pretty heavily when I woke up and by the time I actually got to Palawan Beach at Sentosa it had only barely let up. For some reason they cancelled the 8km run, so I had no choice but to run the 4km one twice. It ended up ok but it was really crowded... by the time I had looped back to the starting point there were still lots of people that hadn't started. Must have been almost 6,000 people there. It was a bit difficult to run through the crowds but I managed. ^_^

Actually I probably didn't run 8km since I finished in just over 30 minutes. That's more like 5-6km so I think they cheated on the distances. Hmph. So much for an intensive training exercise.

I got back home and had some dessert:

Pound cake and grapes drizzled with apple pie ice-cream. Mmmm.

That evening I went down to Josephine's place for her farewell party. Her Thai community is really hospitable and friendly... didn't really know who to thank after the party since everyone had been so nice. Anyway it was really hard to get home afterwards - took almost 2 hours. Spent forever trying to hail a cab (really ulu place ahha - hidden next to ECP) before hopping on a bus and then getting off to try and hail a cab somewhere else. Then dropped off at Farrer Road on the way to Yee Ling's place and got on a bus back home. Sigh.

Went to the army market at Beach Rd today to get some extra stuff. I get the feeling I'm over-preparing, but this is sort of what happens when you're stuck at home with nothing to do.

Fellowship and Chocolate

2005-10-02T14:00:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Esther, Joel, Andrew and Eunice for last night. That was pleasantly surprising and very thoughtful. *sniffle* ^_^

I'm sorry to have to leave you guys with the burden of organizing youth camp. But I'm sure you'll all do great, even without my invaluable presence and help. :P

I ate far too much chocolate yesterday, and drank far too much water. It'll take awhile to work the former out of my system but it was absolutely worth it. Mmmmmm. :D

Oh, while I'm at it I may as well thank Armaan too for putting up with my incessant questioning. I'm sorry you had to waste 2 hours of your off-day. Mwahaha. Anyhow, I'll be joining you soon enough. And at least we got to see Mr. Tranter and Mr. Hill at that Intl. Wine/Beer Festival thing, despite the disturbing context, i.e. bright green vests, short shorts and slightly drunken behaviour.

Bintan, Again

2005-10-01T11:20:00.000-07:00

For some strange reason, every year, no matter what grand plans I make, I always seem to find myself in Bintan. At least twice. It's getting really exasperating since I can probably now find my way around the resort blindfolded.

Still, this was the first time I had been on a golfing holiday to Bintan. That is to say, me playing a lot of golf in a very short space of time outside of Singapore. So now, in addition to being very familiar with the layout of Bintan Lagoon Resort, I can safely say I am also very familiar with the layout of the 36-hole golf course affiliated with Bintan Lagoon Resort. How sad.

Actually I only played 3 rounds of golf over 3 days, which isn't all that bad. My dad was still raring to go and would probably have played 4 rounds if I'd asked him to (which I didn't, thankfully enough). Anyway it was great fun and the course was pretty empty over the weekday period, so we could relax and play at our own pace.

The first day we played on the Jack Nicklaus course. It's called the "sea-view" course, which is a bit of a joke since you're only next to the sea for about two holes, and you can only actually see it from four. The clubhouse provides caddies, which is nice and saves you a lot of work and the trouble of reading putts by yourself. :) I shot a +26 off the white tee, which was my best so far. It's generally a very beginner-friendly course, if you can avoid the water.

The second day we started at about 8am playing the Baker-Finch course. This one is called the "woodlands" course - quite appropriately so, since Mr. Baker-Finch was obviously very lazy and failed to excavate more of the tall trees surrounding the area. It was like an oven. Nonetheless the holes were very short (a welcome relief after having to use 3-woods a lot of the time at Seletar par-4 holes). I did better than the previous day and shot a +25. This means, of course, that I have yet to actually reach my handicap of +24, but I am working towards it.

In the afternoon we went to the beach, since it would have been a waste of our money and time if we visited Bintan without going to the beach. It was nice, as usual, but no huge waves like there were in December. Then we had a buffet dinner at the hotel. The theme was Mexican and thus there was a lot of heavy food and copious amounts of cheese, along with a great assortment of desserts. I ate American cheesecake, strawberry and chocolate ice-cream, mixed fruit and cinnamon crumble, and this cold mango/watermelon thing. This made me feel very bad about myself - I'm still recovering now, I could barely eat anything yesterday.

Yesterday was the last day of our trip - we woke up early to play the Nicklaus course again, since some sea-view is better than no sea-view in any case. I was doing pretty well until about hole #13, after which my body just forgot how to make a golf swing and I bungled my way to about +36 (I lost count). My dad, on the other hand, was just getting into the swing of things and created tons of birdie chances for himself with magnificent approach shots. Hmph.

I forgot to mention that this time we were staying in the chalet opposite the one we had stayed at for the past, I dunno, 4 times we had been to Bintan. This means everything was reversed and I was really confused for awhile.

So yeah. That was a fun trip to take and I'm happy I did that before NS. Now I can concentrate on properly slogging it out for the next 2 years. o_O

Knee Guard

2005-09-27T23:40:00.000-07:00

I got a new knee guard today. Tried it out... it's definitely a lot more comfortable than my old one and the cool spiral strip does actually help to alleviate the pain. ^_^ Gonna buy a couple more before I head into NS. Only 11 more days... o_O

I feel bad about my parents spending so much money on my account just for NS. New knee guards... new glasses... watch repairs... sigh. Oh well. I'll make it all back, hopefully.

I'm heading off to Bintan with my dad for the next 3 days to play some golf and enjoy my last bit of freedom. Should be fun. :D

Do Not Disturb

2005-09-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

Yessir. Duly noted.

Got a letter from CMPB today... I'm PES B. Quite happy about that, except that they haven't mentioned my elbow problem at all. There's an excuse from "dusty and smoky environments" (where did that come from?!) and also from "prolonged kneeling" (I'd be rather put off if that actually happens in BMT), but not from "prolonged elbow strain." Hmmm... makes me wonder if they took enough time to evaluate it. I'll call them on Monday to find out.

Handicap Test

2005-09-15T12:25:00.000-07:00

I passed my handicap test - just. ^_^ Now that I have a handicap of 24, I can play on weekends. Woohoo!

Since I have time I may as well recall my scorecard over 9 holes from Tuesday:

Hole 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
Par 5 3 4 3 4 5 4 4 4 36
Score 8 6 8 4 6 7 5 5 5 54

So, yeah, my first 3 holes were an absolute disaster... +3 +3 and +4. I was pretty bummed about the par-3 2nd as well, since I had a good shot off the tee to just the left of the green, but I messed up everything after that.

That is not to say I wasn't expecting something like that... I know I suck, it's just usually I don't suck that badly on a par-3, especially after a fairly decent tee shot (by my standards anyway).

The two green committee guys were making me nervous - quite business-like and unfriendly. Fortunately I was playing with this guy who was my dad's UOB colleague from 20 years ago, so we made good conversation. It helped that we were both playing equally badly.

The 4th hole was ok. I pulled an 8-iron to the left and it landed just inside the water hazard stakes. Couldn't ground my club but still managed to hit a decent pitch up onto the fringe, and then two-putted.

The bright side is, of the four of us taking the test, I had honours from the 5th hole onwards. Surely they noticed that. :D Of course, it means everyone else was playing really badly too (although there was this 13-year old kid who actually did really well on the first 2 holes, before his drives started going left right and center).

Don't really remember much about the 5th hole except that I was thirsty.

The par-5 6th is an index-1 hole so I'm quite proud of my double-bogey there. I hit a long drive down the right side of the fairway and it ended up in the rough just behind a clump of trees. Then I blasted a brilliant 3-wood right through the narrow gap in the trees (couldn't have asked for a better time for my 3-wood to be working right). Unfortunately this landed in a bunker which took me 2 shots to get out of. Hit a 9-iron to within maybe 15 feet and two-putted.

So, I was +15 after 6 holes. I needed to do really well on the last 3 holes to have any hope of passing at all - and fortunately I did. I'm quite happy with my 3 consecutive bogeys. ^_^ They made my day. I guess I figured I had nothing to lose by that point.

The testers must have taken my score of +8 over my 6 best holes and multiplied it by 3. I am grateful for their mercy. But I'll be the first to admit that I'm nowhere near a handicap of 24, realistically. Eh heh.

33rd post

2005-09-11T17:15:00.000-07:00

It's funny... I spent the whole 6 months leading up to my projected enlistment bemoaning the fact that I would be going into the army and criticizing that entire military paradigm. Then I finally get fit enough to pass NAPFA, am assigned PES B, and actually develop a kind of positive attitude about the whole thing. I honestly do want to go into NS and slog through it and suffer with everyone else.

I'm not a masochist, really. Consider it a product of months of psychological angst. This is my resolution.

But now I've found out I may be PES C. How can I possibly spend 2 years just sitting at a desk doing clerical work? Not only that, but if I'm in PES C I may not even be enlisting in October.

A few days ago I was extremely frustrated at x-institution. Come on, you make an appointment and threaten legal action if I don't make it, then when I get there you make me wait over an hour to see a specialist not even qualified enough to properly evaluate my situation? You made an appointment. This connotes preparedness. Not bumbling inefficiency and inexcusable laziness.

Anyway I've calmed down a bit now. It's the 95% of life I don't have control over at the moment, and I'm not going to be fussed about it. At the very least, I hadn't realized the songs I'd picked for today's youth service were particularly relevant, "Trading my Sorrows" especially. I suppose I need to take a plank out of my eye and start seeing things a bit more clearly. If I can serve God better in another context, then I guess that's where I'll be. His purposes, not mine.

And I need to recognize the blessings He's already given me. Cambridge has proven to be surprisingly receptive. It's a matter of realizing that He has a plan for me, even though I can't see the big picture. I resolve to be a dog, not a cat (nonetheless, I do still prefer cats).

I am fighting a cold now (meaning my training regime is shot). On the bright side, in a few days I will be immune to yet another strain of that diabolical cold virus; i.e. in the event of a secondary infection, memory B- and T-cells will react quickly enough to destroy the pathogen before I begin to show any symptoms. Brilliant.

Four years ago something happened that changed the world.

Happy Birthday Ronald

2005-08-29T23:00:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to my favourite little brother. :)

We celebrated by having dinner last night at Hanabi Restaurant along Bukit Timah Rd, which is an all-you-can-eat Japanese place. It was worth it, at least for me, since I definitely ate about $30 worth of food... something which I now slightly regret. I won't be eating Japanese food for at least another month now. o_O Which is in itself a pity, because a new Japanese restaurant just opened across the street - replacing (gasp) the Jalan Kayu roti prata branch. I guess Roti Prata House is better after all... never could tell the difference, personally.

They must have spiked the salmon or something last night. I came home all fuzzy-headed and sleepy, then when I woke up I was still really blur and disoriented. Hm. I'm not complaining though, it was good salmon.

Mmmmm... salmon...

That's my current idea of heaven - a room full of salmon, all sliced into wonderful glistening orange pieces. Unfortunately this is not the picture painted by the Bible at all... what a bummer. I wonder what could possibly be better than salmon.

Believe it or not, I have not quite gotten around to cleaning my room. Sigh.

PES D

2005-08-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

The good news is that my bilateral slipping ulnar nerves probably won't have any adverse long-term effects, especially since I don't have any symptoms e.g. pain and numbness.

The bad news is that it cost us $50 to find this out, and I have been temporarily downgraded to PES D. Hmph.

I have to go back to CMPB on Sept. 7th for a specialist consultation. Hopefully I get regraded to PES B. At least that consultation will be free, I think.

I now resolve to go clean up my room. Yes.

Piano Exam

2005-08-23T15:10:00.000-07:00

Just came back from my Grade 7 exam at Cristofori Funan S3... the examiner was very friendly, we joked about how the water in my bottle looked like alcohol and thus was affecting my coordination.

Obviously, since we were joking about my coordination, it didn't go all that well... did ok in scales but messed up the F# contrary chromatic scale (he asked for staccato! how cruel) and had to try it again. My first piece I did ok, but my fingers were stiff and cold so the rhythm was a bit off for the whole first part and I botched the last bar - second part was alright though. My second and third pieces were better, but I accidentally held a G# instead of F# for two whole bars in the third piece (the contemporary one)... held it intentionally of course, to cover my mistake. ;) Hopefully the rest of the piece was cacophonous and abstract enough for him to miss that error, although I highly doubt it.

Sight-reading went better than I had hoped, but my attention to dynamics were sorely lacking and this was made obvious when I played the last bar as "pp" instead of "ff" as it was written. I maintain nonetheless that it sounded much better as "pp," but I don't think he really would have cared about that. Hmph.

Aural was a disaster. Especially the modulation, cadences, and clapping-the-rhythm... he didn't really play a very loud bass line for the first two and the last one - well, there's really no excuse for messing that one up. Curses. At least I think I got the period right for test D, romantic.

Provided I get a decent score on the scales and exam pieces, and an average sight-reading mark, those should save my aural score and give me a pass. But they do say friendly examiners are the harshest markers, so I'm not particularly optimistic. :( Oh well.

Dropped by Borders after my exam and bumped into Arjun there - he's leaving for St. Bart's at the end of the month. Also saw Giri. Walked past Olinda Cho as she was heading out of Borders with two friends? bodyguards? o_O ... she's surprisingly short.

Armaan's Birthday

2005-08-22T22:50:00.000-07:00

I really should be practicing for my piano exam tomorrow, but I've just spent 45 minutes on scales which has left me in a kind of glazed-eyes, zombie-like state of existence. Might as well use the downtime to post some pictures.

Happy early birthday Armaan! (should have said that two days ago, but oh well) Thanks for the fun, the heated swimming pool, and the food. Especially the food. Mmmmm... strange starchy balls with sweet-syrup covering... mmmmm...

Met with Armaan and Jasmin at Eastpoint Mall... arrived before they did so I strolled around and happened upon this Miss Singapore World 2005 competition (it was pretty hard to miss). I wonder why they'd hold a competition like that somewhere like... well, let's be diplomatic... somewhere "away" from the city. :P

We bought a fruit cake from a shop near the mall and also a bag of those wonderful small/round biscuits with coloured sugar blobs on top... dunno what they're called. But Armaan hadn't tried them before, which was utterly criminal and had to be rectified.

Had a swim with Armaan and Teri - the pool was neat, heated and everything. Funny that the deep "end" was in the middle though. Anyway, after our swim it registered that Yee Ling/Jun/Jasmin had taken our bags with them to look at the showflat next door. Not so much of a problem for me since I had my clothes with me, but my wallet! My cellphone! My IC! o_O

Jun crowning Armaan:

Armaan blowing out the (single) candle:

It's quite obvious the middle picture isn't from the same candle-blowing as the other two... unless Teri has some phasing ability she hasn't told us about. Funny how we kept making Armaan light and blow out the candle so we could get the perfect picture. Mwahaha.

Saw Aafsheen (that is how you spell it right?), cute girl. Has Armaan's curly hair. We had a staring contest but I lost. :(

In other news, I still haven't seen the cat. Sigh.

NAPFA

2005-08-17T19:25:00.000-07:00

I took the NAPFA this morning. Here's my breakdown in the order of tests I took:

Sit-and-reach (B). (I was petrified when they just led us immediately to the sit-and-reach station... sort of thinking... waitwaitwait don't we have time to stretch?!) Anyway I got 45cm, much better than I expected.

Sit-ups (B). 42 sit-ups. I actually thought I'd done 43, which would have been an A, but they didn't count the first one. :(

Pull-ups (C). I did 6 of these. Actually after the first one they said to straighten my arms more, which I did... thankfully they still counted it. How nice of them. :)

4x10m shuttle run (A). 10.8 seconds on my first try, which would have failed me, but that was because we were starting from the wrong line and I dropped the block on my first run back. Anyway they gave us all a second go, and I got 10.1 seconds.

Standing broad jump (B). I thought this would be the one to fail me, since I jump only 210cm on average, i.e. 10cm short of the requirement. Somehow, I managed to jump 245cm. Someone up there must have put wings on my feet. ;)

2.4km (C). I haven't really ever gone much faster than 13 minutes on this. Which was why it was a shocker that I ran it in 11 minutes 4 seconds. Still don't understand how I did it... maybe if you're running with more people you get a greater feeling of competitiveness? Anyway, this one guy overtook me on the final lap. I kind of went... grrrr... sprinted past him down the stretch and beat him to the finish line. Mwahahaha. Yep, more competitive I guess.

So that's 23 points and a gold. Whoa. Did not expect that. I suppose saying a little prayer before each test helped a bit, heh. I did jump a 'supernaturally' long standing broad jump after all. o_O

Apparently CMPB has already shifted my enlistment date to October... I guess they don't want to waste money catering for my food and bedding in PTP. Not much of a choice for me, hmph. But this means I'll be going into BMT with these uber-fit people (e.g. Nick Keong(?) the footballer, who was taking the test in my group)... frightening. I know I am actually nowhere near their fitness level.

Thanks Julian for coming, your support and Red Bull were very much appreciated. :D I spilled some Red Bull on my 019 tag... next person may have a difficult time unsticking it from their clothes. Heh. ^^

I seem to spill a lot of drinks.

Back to UWC

2005-08-16T18:45:00.000-07:00

Went back to UWC today after Chinese class with Yee Ling, mostly to laugh at the poor new students scurrying frantically around... but I had some practical things to do too. We only got there at around 2.30pm, so unfortunately we didn't have much time to smirk at the students.

First we went up to the admissions office to visit Sandra but she was about to show some people around so we told her we'd be back in 45 minutes. Then we walked down to the examinations office to ask Mary Toh about our IB diplomas - apparently the school doesn't even have them yet and we're not likely to get them till the end of this month. o_O Hmph. As we were leaving the office she called me back and asked for my name, so I told her and then she congratulated me on my IB.

Nice to know I'm appreciated. ^_^ Although it was kinda shocking that she recognized me after seeing me for all of 5 minutes last year.

Anyway, we stopped by USC. Carol wasn't there since her baby has been hospitalized, so we talked with Geraldine and Ms. Smart. I made "Certified True Copies" of my passport and IB results - one for the Cambridge CRB disclosure and the other for MINDEF. It's really the second-best option since I probably won't be getting my diploma until after I enter NS.

Ms. Niedermeyer was in USC looking through the 2005 IB results. We haven't broken the trend... average is up to 36 this year (Ms. Smart hence vindicated and triumphantly announcing that we didn't break the trend despite that whole Head of College ordeal); 5 people got 45, 5 got 44, 3 got 43, and only 1 person failed. Apparently 23% of the grade scored 40 and above. Not bad.

Strangely, Ms. Niedermeyer knew my name too. This is puzzling since I was only in PAW for 6 months in FIB, but I'm really not complaining.

Left USC when the 2.55pm bell rang to try and visit Maslam. On the way we discovered that they've redone the science labs - they're all white and clean and elegant now. Finally they did something right although I kind of wish they'd used our money while we were still there. Hmph.

Maslam wasn't in the bio-tech room so Yee Ling left him a note: "Dear Maslam, we came to visit you. But you went to jalan-jalan. :( Yee Ling and Ray." Talked a bit about the new science labs with Ms. Hunt-Towle, who was much nicer to us than she was to me when I was in FIB and she chased me out of her science lab. They did away with the partition in our old bio room, 2S8, so now it's very nice and spacious. :D

We then went back to USC (took a detour so Yee Ling could look for Ishikawa-san but no such luck), where I talked to Mrs. Elliott for awhile about my Extended Essay and NS. Also bumped into Mr. Hanley who said he was moving to Melbourne next year... Yee Ling was behind me so I couldn't see her face but I imagine her heart was sinking like a rock. :P

Then we went back to look for Maslam (did a lot of walking). He wasn't there but the note was gone!!! I hope he didn't throw it away and has kept it as a sentimental kind of gift.

We went back up to admissions to look for Sandra. Had a long talk with her and she demanded some Chinese translations for things like "forms," "email," "website" etc. She also wanted my collection of cartoon dinosaurs. Sigh.

Finally we went to look for Maslam for the third time (one of us really wanted to see him). But he wasn't there. It was already about 4.30pm so we decided to head home. On the way out we stopped at a new vending machine next to the new vegetarian-bar "Nourish," which is opposite Toscana. Paid 50c for some Teh Tarik but spilled it :( Ah well. Maybe next time. Still need to give Sandra the translations and dinosaurs.

In other news, I went to CMPB this morning to confirm my enlistment date on September 8th. Scary. I'll be going for the NAPFA tomorrow at Toa Payoh Stadium although I do not expect to pass.

Le Cauchemar

2005-08-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

This isn't a sustainable lifestyle.

I think I caught his cough and runny nose. Was climbed over and salivated upon. Je suis vraiment fatigué. Ils sont des maladies, littéralement.

I feel bad typing this, they're quite innocent. But I need the release.

Starting last Saturday.

2005-08-11T23:50:00.000-07:00

I have tragically left uncovered the three busiest days I have experienced since the summer vacation started. So now that I've got a spot of free time, I might as well post about them so as to preserve these memories for posterity. I don't want to look back in 10 years' time and go, "Oh no! Whatever did I do from Saturday, August 6th, 2005, to Monday, August 8th, 2005? Ack! I simply cannot remember! Quelle horreur!" o_O

On Saturday I took my written handicap test for golf (my practical is scheduled for the 5th of next month, presumably before I enter NS... where is my enlistment letter?!). It started at 2pm at Seletar Base Golf Club - they showed us 2 videos and took us down to the practice green where the instructors explained the various rules of golf and their applications in different scenarios. I lost track about halfway, it was all very confusing, especially since one of the instructors couldn't speak very good English and all of them were wearing distracting bright pink shirts. I didn't know touching the sand in a bunker carries a TWO-stroke penalty... that's harsh. It's also one of the two questions I got wrong. But anyway 8/10 multiple choice questions were good enough to pass me.

I finished at about 4.30 at which point my dad msgd me to say he'd be there at 5.45. I figured since I had an hour to kill I could just hop over to Seletar Country Club and play a bit of pool - I thought if I walked it'd take maybe 10 minutes. Stupidest idea I have ever had, ever. I ended up walking for 30 minutes in the blazing hot sun... it definitely looks like a much shorter distance from inside a car. Moral of the story is, take a bus next time. Anyway I did eventually play two games of pool so that was somewhat rewarding.

Saturday night was my brother's ACS(I) band concert as a part of their "Festival of Arts." Sophisticated name for an arts festival. -_____- Oh, and thanks Marian for coming... your support was much appreciated :) Have I mentioned my brother made band major for next year? Such a smart boy. :D

Anyway, I heard "Vesuvius" for the third time this year (twice previously at the Esplanade)... but it has gotten better each time so that's ok. It's obvious how they won SYF 'Gold with Honours' on that piece. Also liked the themes from "Lion King" and "Phantom of the Opera," as well as that one anime piece which they'd also played at the Esplanade before and my brother claims to have a solo in... but I must not have been paying hard enough attention, heh. The emcee's were fun, they looked entirely serious while saying scripted lines like:

A: Well, Joshua! That was a fine piece, was it not?
B: Indeed, Jonathan! Most rousing! It truly set my heart ablaze with emotion!
A: And my heart resonating vibrantly! An excellent offering by our band tonight.

Performance was made very much more exciting by Samy and Reuben who kept poking me in the back at random times. Kept me alert.

On Sunday we had worship practice after service for this week's Celebration Sunday... tiring. Then met up with Adrian and co. for his goodbye party at Marina South. Apparently I am better off without my mustache. Hmph. *simmers in resentment* We met up at Marina Bay MRT and took a bus to Marina South (although there was a bit of confusion caused by the public transport changes as a result of National Day preparations). We ended up having to walk a long way to get to the right place. Nonetheless, had a nice BBQ/steamboat dinner with live prawns of dubious quality and copious amounts of satay-flavoured chicken. Thanks Adrian for bringing us... I dunno if I'd ever go back there though, it's almost not worth the trouble. :P

We headed up to Victor's Superbowl to, um, bowl a bit. Failed to break 100 twice, which was disappointing, but I got close with 99 pinfalls. On the way back to the MRT station we passed the arena where they'd be holding the Marina South National Day celebrations... Adrian and Jun sneaked in to take pictures of the stage. I just hung outside next to the vending machine agonizing over whether it would be wise to add to my sugar intake of the day.

Monday was EBC youth steamboat day. I woke up at a cruel and inhuman hour so as to be able to reach Esther's place by 8am to do grocery-shopping. As it turned out, it was a bad, BAD idea to take the bus on that day. I took a non-aircon 74 from my place and ended up being squished against all these sweaty, smelly, rain-drenched people (this also made it difficult to fold my umbrella). Plus there was a huge traffic jam, so I ended up reaching the NTUC at Clementi at about 8.45. Anyway, we finished most of the groceries by 9.30 (staying well within budget), and by the time we'd carried them over to Esther's place it was nearly 10am. So I ended up being about 40 minutes late for Chinese class, but that was ok since they'd only been reading newspapers for that whole time.

Went to Colin's place (via Esther's flat) after class. We did the steamboat prep and then went to Dover MRT station at 5pm to wait for everyone to arrive. At about this time I concluded that Esther knows far too many Russell Peters routines for her own good.

The steamboat was fun (prawns were definitely fresh this time). I played Cluedo 3 times, 2 of which I won, happily enough. One of them was on a fluke guess after we gave up a game to let someone else join - we knew it was the lead pipe, and then I just guessed "Miss Scarlet" and "Hall" and blimey, I got it right. It's a gift. :D

It so happens that the second win was also on a guess. We knew it was Mrs. White with the candlestick but it was getting late and everyone had to go, so we all guessed a room. Turns out it was the Billiard Room, which I had guessed due to a feeling of affinity, heh. Like I said, it's a gift. ;)

Unfortunately I turned out to be equally poor at the answer-the-lame-joke game. How was I supposed to know that Happy's last name is Lee, or that the ocean "waves" to the beach when it sees it. -____- Anyway, thanks Esther/Eunice for organizing those games, it was loads of fun.

I slept in on National Day. That really accounts for four days, but school's been out for months so I'm permitting small mistakes like these.

Limericks and Alphard

2005-08-10T23:25:00.000-07:00

I found some limericks that were actually funny on Wikipedia the other day.

There was a young bard from Japan,
Whose limericks never would scan.
When asked why this was,
He said, "It's because
I always try to get as many words into the last line as I possibly can."

And:

A limerick fan from Australia
Regarded his work as a failure:
His verses were fine
Until the fourth line.

If enough people don't find the above funny I will concede that I have a weird sense of humour. Although I tend to prefer "highly sophisticated" to "weird."

Anyway I was jealous that Yee Ling had a hamster, so I got a llama. His name is Alphard. I've tried to get him to spit, like a normal llama should, but it's not working out. Hmph.

Happy national day (for yesterday).

My Mustache: An Ode

2005-08-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

Today, at eight thirty-four in the morning,
A tragedy happened beyond all compare.
Sharp metal blades sliced at a black-canvassed awning
Inflicting clean damage beyond all repair.

Oh, what is the meaning of such a disaster?
That dear fuzzy growth of a year and a half
Fell limp to the hand of its once-loyal master,
Its reward only darkness, and one nervous laugh.

What could lessen the pain of such cruel betrayal?
Or punishment as it was flushed down the drain?
As naught but a victim to vivid portrayal:
The fall of great hubris to utter disdain.

Before now there had occurred nothing abnormal,
Before now there had been no pitying hint.
And yet in an instant, both blithe and informal,
It was warned of its doom by a three-bladed glint.

How many times had it revealed its great function?
Enhancing a smile, maturing a face?
But it turned into only a sharp razor's luncheon;
Its glory demolished in shame and disgrace.

"But why now? And what for?" - it asked sadly of me,
And my answer could only be this, "I regret
To say that despite any past guarantee,
I'm losing you to win a five-dollar bet."

Books

2005-08-01T16:00:00.000-07:00

Alright, I'll do it. I'm that bored. :P

Total number of books owned:

163. o_O For some reason people like to give me books for my birthday.

Last book I bought:

"The Right Hand of God," Russell Kirkpatrick.

Five books that mean a lot to me:

1. The Bible.
2. "Lord of the Rings," J.R.R. Tolkien.
3. "Memoirs of a Geisha," Arthur Golden.
4. "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time," Mark Haddon.
5. "The Giver," Lois Lowry.

I won't suffer five people to become the next victims. This is almost as bad as chain-mail. -___- Take that Marian. :P

I saw two people I didn't expect to see as I was coming home from Chinese class today (I am now officially in level 3! Woohoo! 3 more weeks to go...)

The first was the Club Rainbow Singapore woman from Newton MRT last week. She was standing at the bus stop near City Hall MRT doing her charity pitch. I admire her tenacity. She tried to approach me again but I told her she'd already talked to me a week ago. She didn't remember me. :(

The second was Nick Shen (the actor... I think that's his name?). I saw him interviewing this old guy as I was coming out of Funan Mall - must be for some new Channel 8 variety show. I walked away quickly to avoid being interviewed too and subsequently exposed for my bad Mandarin. *hangs head in shame*

aloha Changi

2005-07-30T18:20:00.000-07:00

Went out to recce the aloha Changi resort with Esther this afternoon in the name of having the best youth camp ever. A number of interesting things happened today:

1. I bumped into Jun on the MRT to City Hall (quelle coincidence). Turns out she was on her way to her friends' church to take part in this "Amazing Race" type activity where they would go all over the city looking for places. *sob* And there I was sacrificing part of my weekend to organize a church activity. Let's just ignore the fact that I'd have nothing really productive to do if I stayed home, except maybe Chinese "homework." Did I mention that Jun has a T-shirt with the word "Jun" on it? (not to mention "Jun Plaza" -___-) That's so unfair. Why don't they manufacture "Ray" shirts? Hmph.

2. I arrived at Tampines MRT waaay too early, at about 11:30 or so. This is because the train at Newton MRT came immediately, and the Pasir Ris train at City Hall arrived just as I was getting out of the Marina Bay one. So much for contingency timing. (Speaking of which, there were these funny articles in the newspaper recently about how the government had spent $400,000 on the branding of Marina Bay and finally decided to keep the name as Marina Bay. How weird it would be if they had to change the MRT name to "Merlion Vista" or something corny like that. Anyway, I am never going to complain about the school's $4,000 underground carpark again.)

I had to wait for a long time, wandering around the Tampines MRT area, until about 12:25 or so (I don't really blame you for this Esther, don't worry - it's not like my time nowadays has any opportunity cost). In the interim I managed to find the correct booth at the bus interchange, finally located the toilet in the DBS building (those toilet signs in MRT stations are unbelievably inadequate sometimes), drank a lime juice at McDonald's, read a chapter of "In His Image," and was approached by this Club Rainbow Singapore guy doing a charity pitch. Have I mentioned that these guys have absolutely the best charity pitch in the history of charity pitches? I met this woman outside Newton MRT earlier this week as I was coming back from Chinese class and she gave me the exact same dialogue. Here's about how it goes:

CRS person: Hello, may I just have 2 minutes of your time as you wait for your bus?
Me: Um... well...
CRS person: Just 2 minutes. We're only trying to raise awareness here.
Me: [curious since I've never seen anything like this before] Ah, ok.
CRS person: As you wait for your bus. Just go ahead when it comes.
Me: Ok.
CRS person: May I ask what is your name please? [o_O what a strange question]
Me: [feeling a bit awkward but impressed at their shock factor] Ray.
CRS person: Ok, Ray, well I'm from this organization, Club Rainbow Singapore. Basically, [pointing at a colourful piece of paper they are holding] some of these children you can see here... [etc. etc.]
Me: Alright. Yeah.
CRS: Am I correct in saying you are a student right now?
Me: Yeah I am.
CRS: Well Ray, all we're doing is raising awareness. But I hope that when you are older and more able to financially support yourself [whoa, that's totally cool, a charity organization that actually understands we're not spare change machines] then please remember us and try to make a small donation.
Me: [making a mental note to blog about this so I won't forget] Sure.
CRS: Thank you. Have a nice bus ride.
Me: Thanks.

Ah, and everyone's happy. Such nice smiley people. No guilt. :)

Oh, yeah, there was this part of "In His Image" (by Paul Brand and Philip Yancey) that was a real shocker. I was reading Chapter 8, "Transfusion"; this is an extract:

"An American black man, Charles Drew, solved many problems of blood storage and shipping, making possible a nationwide Blood for Britain campaign during the second great war. Since then a labyrinthine network of blood supply depots, refrigerated blood banks, trucks, and planes has grown up - in ironic technological mimicry of the body's own circulatory system.

Some barriers to transfusions, however, lay beyond the scope of medical science: in one of the cruelest twists of medical history, Charles Drew died after being refused a blood transfusion in a North Carolina hospital because of his race."

Tragic.

3. We passed the old Changi General Hospital as we were exploring the Netheravon Road area. We must have looked pretty weird to the passing cars, standing in a remote area of Singapore in the rain and taking pictures. It's not a very friendly-looking place, that hospital.

4. We found Fairy Point Chalets 2-4 and Fairy Point Bungalow 3 (along Cranwell Road - long way to walk). We discarded FPB 3 as an option after we saw a bag of rubble on the front doorstep and the dusty, messy, dark interior. We probably made the people in FPCs 2-4 uncomfortable when we walked multiple times around their chalets, commenting on the appropriateness of the setting and the nice view, and taking some pictures. Mwahaha. As a side note, Pulau Ubin is just across the water from the resort.

5. Esther was talking about the possibility of walking to the main road to take a taxi (which I may or may not have been able to support with the money in my wallet) when at that very moment bus #29 came to the bus-stop. Talk about divine provision. Whew, thank you God. Of course, we could have saved about 20 minutes with the taxi... hm.

Well, it looks like youth camp will be held at aloha Changi this year. The theme is "Fellowship of the Cross," followed tentatively next year by "The Two Testaments," and then "The Return of the Christ" (we're so clever, haha). Hopefully I'll be able to attend although with NS coming up that's not very likely.

A Moth

2005-07-27T15:35:00.000-07:00

I found a moth in my toilet this morning.

It's the first orange-red type moth I've ever seen. Pretty neat.

Why I am a Christian.

2005-07-24T21:50:00.000-07:00

Quite often I find myself looking up at the sky and marvelling at the vastness of the universe that lies beyond those white fluffy clouds. Today was no exception. I did my marvelling while lying down on a bench in the park, where I had collapsed in exhaustion after my thrice-weekly jog in preparation for NS.

It is at this sort of moment that your mind leaves your body for awhile. You stop and wonder at the black infinity that is the universe; then you scale down to bright pinpricks of galaxies, then down to clusters of stars, down to solar systems, down to planets, down to continents, down to countries, down to cities... and then, after reducing your mindset to the smallest possible sphere of existence, you find yourself again, sprawled along the length of a little park bench that is as insignificant in the grander scheme of things as a beetle you would like to squish under your foot.

At times like these I start to think. I was fluidly expelled into this world just over 17 years ago. It's not like I had much choice in the matter. I was awarded consciousness without having asked for it, a body without having requested it, a soul without understanding it. Over the course of my life, I will grow - physically, mentally, spiritually. My cells will divide. Some will persist. Some will degenerate. And ultimately, as I approach old age, my body will weaken and fail. When I finally die, my family will cremate me. My corpse will burn, my cells will turn to ashes, and every last remnant of what was once me will drift away like particles of dust on a whisper of wind, unimportant and forgotten forever.

And life will go on uninterrupted. Human beings will continue to procreate and multiply, advancing intellectually and technologically, spreading themselves across to the furthest reaches of the planet... and then all too soon the Sun will expand and engulf the Earth. Kaplooey. Another blip in the vast dark universe.

So what's the point?

Here's my take. There are two possible ways to look at life. They are: (a) Life has no meaning, and (b) Life has meaning. Let's look at (a) first.

If life has no meaning, then everything I've said above regarding the sterile demise of the human race will probably end up occurring, one way or another. Tragic and pretty pathetic, really, but let's open ourselves to the possibility. There are people who, when asked, will promptly claim that yes, absolutely, they don't believe that life has any meaning at all.

They're in denial.

If we truly are to believe that life has no meaning, then why are we wasting time standing around discussing it? To substantiate such a claim we should instead be off pursuing the sort of hedonistic lifestyle that particularly appeals to human nature. For, if our state of consciousness in this universe is temporary and insignificant, then being completely and exclusively self-centered is the most sensible way to live. Why bother bowing to the whims of others if we can satisfy ourselves? After all, when you only have 75 years to live, they'd better be a brilliant 75 years - the best 75 years ever, in the history of mankind. Lots of sex, lots of money, and lots of power.

Most people ascribing to perspective (a) object to this view. Simply because you can, they say, doesn't mean you should. They believe that there is merit to living morally, being the best person you can possibly be, providing for your family, supporting your friends, and bettering society. This is noble and, I will concede, commendable.

But it also means that they do not belong to camp (a) at all - they belong to camp (b). That kind of philosophy is fundamentally reflective of a belief that life does indeed have meaning. (I have, of course, ignored the possibility of people claiming an option (c) - that they can't be bothered one way or another. But really, if you're not bothered now, you will be bothered when you're on your deathbed, so it's probably wiser to pre-empt that kind of situation.)

I would like to propose that we're all born with an ingrained desire to believe that life has meaning. It's evident in the bigger things - up to 85% of the world's population claims to ascribe to a particular religion - and also in the smaller things - such the kind courtesy of letting an old lady have your seat in the train, or the polite acceptance of having to stand in line to wait for lunch. We wouldn't stand by our faith if we didn't believe life had meaning; equally, we wouldn't adhere to ethical behaviour if we didn't believe life had meaning.

However, I am also going to propose that, without the concept of eternity, the idea that life has meaning is meaningless. When you do certain things and carry out certain actions in the view that life has meaning, you must be acting for a greater purpose than your temporal existence on Earth. Isn't that the very framework upon which the concept of meaning in life is built - that what you do is a reflection of some greater purpose, which is precisely what gives your actions meaning? This "greater purpose" is, broadly speaking, eternity.

My final proposition, however, is that eternity in itself has no meaning unless you factor God into the equation. Why is this so? Much like the idea of God, the concept of eternity is something the human brain simply cannot wrap its tendrils around. It is a concept that is far too vast, and far too incomprehensible. Eternity represents a state of timelessness and, indeed, a unique departure from the physical plane. If we do not suggest a God, then we must claim that human beings are products of the evolving world. And if we are to claim that human beings are such products, then how is it possible that they can on their own attain a state of existence that is incomprehensible to them at the very outset, spiritual development or no?

On the other hand, if we propose a God, and that all things exist and occur for the glory of such a God, then eternity makes much more sense. It is only through the grace of God, an all-powerful, incomprehensible being, that we may reach eternity, a concept equally incomprehensible. The meaning of life - and the purpose of life - is to live for God's glory; the reward of eternity is being able to share in His glory forever. That is why we are here; that is why we have been created.

So why am I a Christian? The easy answer is that my parents are Christians and it was only natural for me to go to church regularly and finally to accept Christ. But ultimately it was up to me to establish a personal relationship with God. I suppose I could go on, rationalizing every minute aspect of my faith, but that would probably take untold ages. For me, it is much more fulfilling simply to realize that "... it is by grace you have been saved, through faith - and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God..." -Ephesians 2:8 (NIV). Such grace is good, perfect, wonderful, and beyond understanding.

Goodbye Yvonne

2005-07-16T16:40:00.000-07:00

Yvonne, the smoked-salmon salad I made on Thursday is dedicated to you. Thanks for always being a bright spark in our lives, like the juicy red tomato in the middle of the bowl. :) Have fun in Melbourne. When we are old and hale, I'll see you in a retirement home and we can complain about our unfilial children to each other. Cheers.

P.S. I let you and Lisa win that game of Bridge. Really, I did. :P

Incroyable!

2005-07-06T20:25:00.000-07:00

Praise the Lord.

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no-one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

but those who hope in the Lord
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Biology HL = 7
Chemistry HL = 7
Math HL = 7
English SA1 = 7
French SB = 7
Economics SL = 7
EE (biology) = B
TOK = A

45.

Bali

2005-07-05T20:35:00.000-07:00

Here are some long-overdue photos from our family's trip to Bali, Jun 19-24. I figured there's no real point posting conventional pictures, so these are some of the better ones:

Spider eating a bug

A nice flower

Do not climb stairs

Ubud stray peeing

Telagawaja River

Cacao!

Sleeping bat

Wave crashing on a rock (Tanah Lot)

Man bathing as the tide comes in (Tanah Lot)

CONFERENCE (Tanah Lot)

Purple sunset (Tanah Lot)

Old bird

My Birthday

2005-07-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me. Thanks everyone who came and got me presents. :D That's real presents, by the way. Armaan, maybe I should re-package that... thing, and mail it to your parents. You know you deserve it. :P

PICTURES

Group photo (minus Rio)

Yvonne bowling

Yee Ling bowling (roll. ROLL!)

Armaan bowling

Rio bowling

Look! There was a cake! And you missed it!

Well, maybe not all of you. But still.

Sprite! (totally unrelated, but I couldn't resist)

The Funeral Business

2005-07-01T14:05:00.000-07:00

Just got back from my uncle's Buddhist funeral. I think it's kind of sad how this sort of funeral nowadays has become so commercialized - it takes all the meaning away from it. When you see them packing up the wake by crumpling up the calligraphy banners, ripping off velcro-ed yellow tablecloths, folding up the tables, rolling up the yellow blinds and packing up the portable toilet... there's an air of repetitive boredom about the whole business. It's as if they're saying, "Whoo... one down. Another hundred thousand to go." There's no sense of concern or sympathy - essentially you feel like they've just placed a price tag on your uncle's cremation proceedings. Push the coffin into the numbered (3) blast furnace - ok, that's it. $8,000. Next, please. I find it discouraging, personally... but maybe that's just me. Oh well.

In other news, I found out as I was coming home today that my concession for public transport has expired. I had to pay a whole SIXTY-FOUR CENTS (!!!) from the temple at Bishan to my house! Scandalous!

Hm. So much for implying that I wouldn't have any time for blogging in July.

15th post

2005-06-30T17:10:00.000-07:00

This is actually my 15th post. The three missing posts I have judged too potentially inflammatory to make public. But you can always email me asking to read them if you're curious as to what I've written that's so horrifying :D

Thus ends what will probably be my most prolific month of blogging... I will never have so much time on my hands ever again. I have essentially made one post every two days :S Wow. Also, in a single month I've managed to go from informative to explanatory to creative to whiny to critical to inflammatory. Cool huh.

Well, that's it. It's been fun... see you in July.

To be reposted later.

2005-06-29T15:25:00.000-07:00

I've removed my NS Medical, 13th post, and Christian Philosophy. Note to self: repost it all when you're in college. Right now the material is a bit sensitive - I don't want to accidentally offend anyone. :D

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 7 of 7.

2005-06-24T13:05:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I disclaim this story; that is to say, it is not my own. I heard it somewhere.

[The remainder of this text will be in white print, so as not to spoil the ending.]

Billy was elated. He would finally get to see the wizard! His prior melancholy forgotten, Billy jumped into action.

He dashed across the grass...

ran through the south gate of the park...

darted across the street...

and was knocked over by a car.

Billy died in hospital an hour later.

The moral of the story is:

Always look both ways before you cross the street.

THE END

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 6 of 7.

2005-06-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: For the second-last time, it's not my story. Honestly. Hmph.

Dawn arrived bright and early, as it usually does. A swallow fluffed its feathers and cawed a greeting to the red-tinted sunrise, before gliding away on a cool morning breeze. All was peaceful and quiet in Candlestick Park.

Billy opened his eyes blearily. He looked around. He sat up. "Wha...?" he said. His hands patted confusedly at the rough woodwork of the bench beneath him.

"Bed?" he murmured. He patted the bench again. "No... not bed. Uhmm..."

Billy scratched his head sleepily. "Room?" he muttered, looking from side to side. "No room? Uhhh..."

Billy's hands reached out. "Bobby the bear?" he said. His fingers curled around the soft plushie toy. He sighed in relief. "Bobby the bear..." he repeated, smiling contentedly.

It took a moment for Billy's brain to kick into gear. He jolted upright. My drawing... the teacher... passionfruit... the principal... passionfruit... mum... dad... passionfruit... the tramp... the wizard... the tree...

The wizard! Of course!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Exactly three seconds elapsed. Suddenly, a deafening chime, akin to the roar of ten thousand angry lions, reverberated through Billy's skull. The trunk of the biggest tree split open with a resounding crack to reveal a jagged, ten-foot-tall archway. Looming in the archway was a snarling white-furred monster of enormous proportions.

The hairs on the back of Billy's neck stood on end.

The monster growled. Its thin purple lips spread slowly in a toothy grin, exposing cruel fangs. A pair of yellow-tinted eyes, dark as poison, glowed eerily in Billy's direction. It stomped heavily forward on large, clawed feet.

Then it raised a hairy paw to brush a speck of dust off its tuxedo.

"Hello," said the monster pleasantly. "My name is Albert. How may I be of service?"

Billy remained rooted in place. His eyes had glazed over.

"Um, hello?" said the monster, waving a paw in front of Billy's face. "Anyone there?"

Billy didn't move.

"Oh, dear," said the monster, sighing audibly. "I truly fail to understand why I am forced to do this every time." He produced a large bucket of water and sloshed it over Billy.

Billy sputtered. "H-h-h-hi Mr. A-A-Albert," he said, shivering.

Albert beamed in delight. "Why hello there, young one," he said cheerfully. He spread his massive arms wide in a gesture of hospitality. "Welcome back to the land of the living. What may I do for you?"

Billy took a deep breath to calm himself down. Any monster in a tuxedo, he reasoned, is likely to be less than dangerous. He stopped short as a thought struck him. Or completely insane.

Billy took another deep breath. That didn't really help, he thought. But he steeled himself nonetheless. "Is there a wizard here, Mr. Albert?" he asked tentatively.

"Oh, I'm afraid not, Mr.-" Albert paused. "... May I have your name, young master?"

"Um, it's Billy," said Billy, crestfallen. The tramp had lied to him.

"Terribly sorry, Billy," said Albert. "The wizard is away on business at the moment. It is my sad duty as his butler to inform all appointment-seekers to come back tomorrow." He patted Billy's shoulder apologetically.

Billy's eyes lit up in joy. "So there is a wizard!" he said ecstatically.

Albert looked affronted. "Well, of course there is!" he said. "I would be plum out of a job otherwise, wouldn't I?" He crossed his arms and grumbled to himself. "Foolish kids... always think they know everything. It's all the same. All the same. Hmph."

Billy jumped up and down to regain Albert's attention. "Hey!" he yelled, waving his arms at the butler. "Hello?"

Albert looked up irritably. "Come back tomorrow," he snapped. The archway slammed shut.

Billy took a moment to digest this. "Alright," he chirped happily, to no-one in particular. He climbed down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, ran through the south gate of the park, dashed across the grass and returned to his wooden bench.

He spent the night in the park.

The next morning, Billy was up bright and early. Today he would see the wizard! Today he would get his answers!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Three seconds elapsed. A deafening chime resounded, and the archway split open. Standing in the archway was a refreshed-looking Albert.

"Ah, hello, Billy," said Albert, smiling affably. "I was wondering when you'd drop by."

Billy was bouncing up and down in anxiousness. "Can I see the wizard now?" he begged. "Please?"

Albert's face fell. "I'm afraid I must deliver more bad news," he said regretfully. "You've just missed him. He's gone on another business trip and won't be back for another week." Albert patted Billy's head comfortingly. "Awfully sorry," he said.

The archway slammed shut.

Billy was crushed. "Okay," he murmured, "I'll come back in a week." He trudged down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, plodded in through the south gate of the park, and made his way across the grass to his wooden bench.

He spent another week in the park.

One week later, Billy was up bright and early. Today, at last, he would understand why everyone was so mad at him for saying passionfruit! Today he would solve the mystery!

Billy jumped into action. He dashed across the grass, ran through the south gate of the park, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, climbed up the hill and pressed the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree.

Three seconds elapsed. A deafening chime resounded, and the archway split open. Standing in the archway was a well-groomed Albert.

Albert gazed apologetically at Billy. "Billy," he began, "I'm afraid the wizard has left again, on yet another business trip. Popular man, you know, lots of clients and such." He patted Billy's head sympathetically.

Billy's lower lip quivered. His body shook. He burst into tears. "Not again!" he wailed. He hiccoughed pitifully.

"I am truly sorry, my lad," said Albert, grimacing. "The wizard will be returning in a month. Perhaps you could try coming back then."

The archway slammed shut.

Billy turned miserably away from the trunk of the biggest tree. He trudged down the hill, stopped, looked left and right, crossed the street, plodded in through the south gate of the park, and made his way across the grass to his wooden bench.

Sitting on the bench was the tramp.

"Ah, Billy!" the tramp said brightly. "Fancy meeting you here!"

Billy mumbled a despondent greeting in return.

"What? No cheery hello for an old friend?" prompted the tramp.

Billy sat down dejectedly on the opposite side of the bench.

"Hm, suppose not," said the tramp, a trifle disappointed. "So much for testing your perseverance."

Billy snapped out of his stupor. "What did you just say?" he demanded.

"My lad," said the tramp seriously, his black eyes glittering. "You didn't really think, did you, that a famous wizard lets just about anyone consult him?"

Billy shook his head confusedly.

"But you have passed my test," said the tramp with a wink. "Well done, if I do say so myself."

Billy nodded jerkily in thanks. His eyes widened in dawning comprehension.

The tramp reached under his tattered gray rags with a gnarled hand and pulled out a long wooden staff. In a flash he was clothed in elegant robes of wizardly purple. He winked again.

"Come on up, Billy," he said warmly. "We have much to discuss. Albert is preparing tea." And with a swirl of dazzling stars the wizard vanished from Candlestick Park.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 5 of 7.

2005-06-17T11:40:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: This story is not my own. I wash my hands of it.

Billy dragged his feet miserably along the pavement. Shadows surrounded him. A bat flitted silently overhead, quietly camouflaged against the dark night sky.

Billy walked past the grocery store, the post office, the public library, and the toy shop. Every door was shut, with hard golden doorknobs glistening in the wet drizzle that had just begun to fall.

Billy didn't know where he was going. He sighed and cast his gaze around, squinting through the rain until his eyes came to rest on a high, gaping archway on the opposite side of the street. Small droplets of water crawled down the black lettering lining the curve of the arch. "Can-del-stick Park," Billy read. He steeled himself and trudged resolvedly across the street.

Billy's feet padded across the rough grass in the park. He spotted a rickety wooden bench and wandered over towards it. A dirty pile of rags decorated one side of the bench. Billy set his backpack down on the other side.

The pile of rags shifted.

Billy screeched and jumped backwards.

The pile of rags sprouted a pair of gnarled, waving hands. The palms were facing outwards appeasingly. "Nonono," came a muffled voice from within the heap. "Don't run away." A head popped into view.

The head was dark and wrinkled, like a prune, with a few stray white hairs sitting on top. A large, bulbous nose sat jauntily on one side of the face. The mouth was grinning madly, cracking apart its dry, chapped lips and exposing a set of crooked yellow teeth. A pair of jet-black eyes glittered in Billy's direction.

The pile of rags stood up. It was a tramp.

"Don't get many visitors at this time of the night, usually," muttered the tramp to himself. "In fact," he said, eyeing Billy, "I daresay you're the first! What brings you here, my lad?"

Billy didn't know whether to feel terrified or relieved. The emotional stress became too much to bear. He broke down crying.

"Oh, nonono," rasped the tramp frantically. He patted Billy's head in an awkward fashion. "Don't cry, now, don't cry," he said.

Billy wailed. "Everyone h-h-hates me!" he cried.

"Oh, dear," said the tramp. He chewed worriedly on a long fingernail. "That can't be true, my lad. Whatever would make you say something like that?"

"It's t-t-true!" sobbed Billy. "First I g-got exp-p-pelled, and th-then I g-got d-d-disowned!"

"Oh, I say!" said the tramp, scandalized.

"And I s-s-still d-don't know wh-what I d-d-did w-wrong!" cried Billy.

The tramp scratched thoughtfully at his head. Suddenly, he snapped his fingers. "Tell you what, son," he said, eyes squinting appraisingly at Billy. "I know of a certain someone who can answer all your questions. Why don't you go ask him for advice? I reckon he'll be able to help you out!"

Billy stopped crying. "Really?" he said excitedly.

"Oh, yes," said the tramp, bobbing his head. "He happens to be" - his voice lowered to a secretive whisper - "a wizard. Quite famous, if I do say so myself." He winked at Billy.

"Wow! Cool!" said Billy. "I'll see him first thing tomorrow!"

"Good show, good show, my lad!" chuckled the tramp. "See that gate over there?" He pointed to a gate at the other end of the park. Billy nodded. "That's the south gate of the park," the tramp continued. "All you have to do is go through that gate, cross the street, climb up the hill and press the knob on the trunk of the biggest tree. That's where the wizard lives, that is," said the tramp, nodding wisely. "He'll answer your questions."

"Awesome!" said Billy. "Thanks, Mr. Tramp!"

"No problem," winked the tramp, as he limped slowly away. "Cheerio, my lad!"

"Bye!" yelled Billy, waving vigorously. He smiled happily to himself and settled onto the bench, falling quickly into a contented, dreamless sleep.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 4 of 7.

2005-06-16T23:15:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Same again. Not mine.

Billy was stunned. His lips trembled. His eyes began to water.

"Wh-wh-what's wrong w-with s-saying p-p-passionfruit?" he sobbed. A sparrow flying above him choked in shock and fell to its death in a water fountain.

Billy wailed pitifully. He ran down the pavement all the way home and burst through the door and dashed into the kitchen and buried his wet face in his mother's apron.

Billy's mother was worried, since the school day wasn't over. She wondered what Billy was doing at home. "Billy," she said placatingly, "What are you doing at home?"

Billy sniffled. "I g-g-got expelled!" he cried. His mother gasped.

"Expelled!" she said, thunderstruck. "Why, this is outrageous! How could you have been expelled?"

"I d-d-dunno," cried Billy. "I w-was j-just explaining t-t-to the p-principal that the t-teacher w-w-wanted us to d-draw a p-p-passionfruit and th-then h-mmmmrrrrrffffffff!" Billy grabbed at the hand that was clapped to his mouth.

Billy's mother looked livid. She cast her eyes around furtively. "What did you just say?" she hissed.

Billy was petrified. "P-p-passionfruit?" he said tentatively.

"Passionfruit?" Billy's mother spluttered. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT? Up to your room at once, young man! Wait until your father hears about this!" She shooed him angrily from the kitchen, slammed the door at took a deep breath to calm herself down.

Billy trudged sadly up the stairs and into his room. He started to cry again. "I d-d-don't understand!" he sniffled. He hugged his bruised plushie toy.

A tribe of passionfruits appeared out of nowhere in front of Billy and sprouted evil grins. They built a fire and began dancing around it, chanting and murmuring in low voices. The passionfruit with a white-feathered headdress brought out a dead sparrow and placed it on the fire, saying a fervent prayer to the passionfruit gods. The smell of burning flesh filled the air...

Billy was awoken from his stupor by the sound of the doggy-flap in his door being pushed open, admitting his cold dinner. He ate slowly and miserably.

BANG! Billy leapt backwards onto his bed as his door was blasted clean off its hinges. The dust settled to reveal a monstrous, muscular form.

Billy's father stalked into the room. He slammed his thick arms onto the posts of Billy's bed. His voluminous mustache quivered. A large purple vein pulsed on his forehead.

"PASSIONFRUIT?" he roared. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT!"

Billy's father stepped backwards, closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. He licked his lips. Then his eyes snapped back open to reveal angry dark pupils.

Billy whimpered. "I'm sor-"

"SHUT UP!" Billy's father bellowed. "NO EXCUSES, YOU LITTLE INGRATE! I feed you, I clothe you, and THIS IS HOW YOU..."

Billy's father coughed. He spit a morsel of murky yellow phlegm onto the floor. "Out," he breathed angrily, pointing to the door. "Get out of this house. You're no longer my son."

Billy burst into tears. His father stomped out of the room.

Five minutes later Billy left the house, still sobbing, with a small backpack slung over his shoulder and a plushie toy clutched in his white, trembling hand.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 3 of 7.

2005-06-15T17:35:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: Belong to me, this story does not. Hear it somewhere, I did.

Billy's eyes were fixed upon the fly buzzing around his head. Ever so slowly, he brought up his Electrodeath electric fly-swatter and positioned it just so... and swung wildly.

He missed.

The fly-swatter hit the coat-rack, which toppled and landed on the bed, which wobbled, causing the basketball to bounce upwards, allowing it to be caught in the ceiling fan, which nearly malfunctioned, nonetheless resulting in the basketball being eviscerated, causing basketball shreds to fly everywhere, knocking over the table lamp, the plushie toy, and the alarm clock. The alarm clock fell to the ground and a battery rolled out, squashing a nearby caterpillar which would later be the key to unlocking the secrets of the universe. Thus humankind never discovered the true meaning of life. But that is another story.

Eureka! Billy suddenly thought. I know! I'll draw a passionfruit!

Billy was energized by his new idea. He raced down to the fridge and searched its deepest, darkest recesses and finally found what he was looking for - a shiny round passionfruit. He hugged it close to his chest. Billy grabbed a few crayons and a piece of paper and started drawing.

And drawing.

Billy drew the passionfruit for the whole night. And when he went to bed he had dreams of shiny bathtubs flying through space, with singing passionfruits scrubbing themselves inside them and an orange caterpillar bounding across the moon.

The next morning, Billy was in school bright and early. He smiled widely around the classroom until he realized it was empty. So he smiled at the whiteboard, and the tarantula, and the colourful posters.

Ten minutes later, Billy folded his hands and continued smiling.

Class started another half-hour later. By this time the other children had filed in. They quietly seated themselves at the front, although those nearest to Billy looked tense and apprehensive, and those farther away looked relieved. Billy thought this was strange.

"Alright, class!" said the teacher jovially. "Who wants to show me their homework assignment from yesterday?"

"Oooh! Me! Me!" yelled Billy immediately, waving his hand in the air.

"Okay, Billy," said the teacher, shooting him a disturbed glance. "What have you drawn?"

Billy produced his work with a proud flourish.

"Oh, very nice, Billy," said the teacher pleasantly. "But... what is it?"

"It's a passionfruit, ma'am," Billy said. He flourished his drawing again for good measure.

The students froze. The teacher froze. "Wh-wh-what did you say it was?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"A passionfruit, ma'am," Billy said again. He beamed proudly.

Slowly, ever so slowly, the teacher's face turned red and blotchy with anger. "Passionfruit?" she said. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT?" she shrieked.

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. "Go immediately to the principal's office," she said. She ushered Billy outside the classroom and hastily slammed the door.

Billy was bewildered. He didn't know what he had done wrong. So he trotted merrily along the hallway until he realized that he didn't know where the principal's office was.

Billy scratched his head. He scratched his chin. He also scratched the back of his neck because it was itchy. He then decided that he would just have to find the principal's office.

Billy wandered and wandered and wandered, until finally he came upon a smooth brown-black wooden door that looked different to all the other doors. "Prin-ci-puls of-ice," he read from the gold-embossed letters at the top. "Yep! This must be it!" he said happily. He pushed open the door.

The principal was a large, balding man with three double-chins, coarse hairy hands and a big (but friendly) red face. At this moment he was working on solving a difficult logistical problem on his computer. But he turned towards the door immediately when it opened.

"Ah!" he said genially, eyeing his diminutive visitor. "A student! What may I do for you, my lad?"

Billy was happy to see that the principal was so friendly. "Well sir," he said, "I was in class, see, and-"

"Wait!" the principal interrupted. "Your name is Billy, am I right?"

Billy was surprised. "Why, yessir, it is," he said. He beamed at the friendly principal.

"I met your mother just yesterday! What a coincidence!" the principal chortled.

"Haha, yes, a cons-dense!" Billy said happily.

The principal laughed. Billy laughed. A bird chirped gaily outside.

"Anyway, back to business," the principal said, suddenly serious. "What were you trying to say?"

"Oh, right, yessir," Billy said, remembering his manners. "I was in class and I showed the teacher my drawing of a passionfruit and for some reas-"

The principal cut Billy off. His three double chins convulsed in shock. His large red face turned purple. "D-d-did you just say" - his voice dropped to a whisper - "passionfruit?"

Billy nodded vigorously.

The principal gasped. "Passionfruit?" he cried. "PASSIONFRUIT? HOW DARE YOU SAY PASSIONFRUIT? That's it! I'm expelling you, you insolent little brat!" The principal lifted his bulky form from his chair, opened the window and single-handedly threw Billy out.

"And never come back!" he yelled, slamming the window shut. Angry spittles of saliva rained all over Billy.

The principal took a deep breath to calm himself down. When he was sufficiently relaxed, he returned to his game of Solitaire.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 2 of 7.

2005-06-14T20:00:00.000-07:00

Disclaimer: I maintain that I do not own this story, however much I would like to.

Billy skipped down the pavement, a smile affixed on his face as he hummed to himself. What a great day at school! he thought. He broadened his smile and widened his stride.

What a great day at school! he thought again. He flailed his arms about in gladness. The children walking home with him shuffled away nervously.

Eventually Billy turned down the street to his house, waving goodbye to the other children, who smiled uncomfortably back. He scampered along the pavement, pushed open the gate, rushed down the pathway and burst through the door, colliding with his mother who had come to greet him when she had seen him outside.

"Hi mom," he gasped quickly, and promptly raced up the stairs. His mother blinked. She closed the door delicately and went back to chopping broccoli.

Vegetables, Billy's mother reflected, are much easier to understand than little boys.

Meanwhile, Billy had raced back down the stairs and was rummaging through the pantry. This kind of activity tends to make a lot of noise, so Billy's mother was drawn to the racket. She looked at the mess and sighed.

"What are you doing, Billy?" she said.

"I'm looking for a fruit," he said.

Billy's mother raised an eyebrow. "Oh?" she said. "Why is that?" Inwardly she was ballooning with excitement. Goodness, she thought, my lil' boy is growing up and taking the initiative! Asking for fruit, I'll say!

"It's an assignment for school," Billy said. "I have to draw a fruit."

Billy's mother didn't respond. She was enraptured, her hands clasped together in front of her starry, vacant eyes.

"Uh, mom?" said Billy. "You ok?" He went and fetched a stool to stand on, and then climbed on it and snapped his fingers in front of his mother's face.

"Wha?" said Billy's mother, looking wildly around. "Oh... oh. Yes dear, I'm fine." She smiled. "So which fruit would you like to eat?"

Billy blanched. "Jeez, mom!" he said. "I'm not gonna eat a fruit! Eeeew! I just need to draw it for school!"

Billy's mother deflated. "Oh," she said weakly. "Right, of course."

"So?" Billy said. He crossed his arms and tapped his right foot impatiently.

Billy's mother recovered quickly. "How about an apple?" she said.

"We did one in class today," Billy said. "I want something special."

"An orange?" Billy's mother said.

"Not original enough," Billy said.

"A banana?" she said.

"Not colourful enough," Billy said.

"A grape?"

"Not big enough."

"A bunch of grapes?"

"Too complicated."

"A grapefruit?"

"Too big."

"A durian?"

"Too spiky."

"A kiwi fruit?"

"Too furry."

"A strawberry?"

"Too cute."

"A rambutan?"

"What the heck is that, mom?" Billy said exasperatedly. "Forget it. You're not helping." He stormed up to his room to sulk.

Billy's mother quirked an eyebrow. He'll learn, she decided. She patted her bundle of ever-silent broccoli lovingly, and then chopped off its head.

To be continued...

Billy and the Passionfruit, Part 1 of 7.

2005-06-13T16:20:00.000-07:00

I had intended to tell this story to everyone I knew before I left high school, but I never really found the time. As it is only a select few thus far have heard it - so may I present "Billy and the Passionfruit: Blog Format."

Disclaimer: I don't own this story. I heard it somewhere.

Once upon a time there lived a young boy named Billy. Billy was five years old. He had blond hair, brown eyes and a cheery disposition.

Today was Billy's first day of school. Because of this, Billy was very excited. "It's my first day of school!" he cried, as he skipped along the pavement holding his mother's hand. "I'm so excited!"

Billy's mother smiled down at her son. "Now, now, Billy," she said, "calm down. We're almost there."

Billy continued to frolic in joy and delight. The brightness of his smile blinded a nearby mosquito, which fell to the ground in shock and was squashed by Billy's foot. But Billy was too excited to notice.

"It's my first day of school!" he repeated joyfully.

"Indeed it is," Billy's mother proudly said. She quickened her pace to match her son's.

When they finally arrived at school, Billy rushed to his first class with great alacrity, leaving his mother waving wistfully behind. He sat down at the front of the classroom and waited.

And waited.

After five minutes the whole class had arrived. Most were sitting trembling at the back. "Come on up here, children!" said the teacher in a friendly voice. "I won't bite, you know!"

So the children (apart from Billy, of course) moved cautiously to the front. Billy beamed at them. They stared uncertainly back.

"Today we'll be doing a little bit of art," said the teacher cheerfully. "I want you to use these crayons" - she pointed to some crayons - "to draw this apple." She pointed to an apple. "Doesn't that sound like fun?"

There was a pregnant pause. The children shuffled their feet.

"Yeah! That sounds great!" said Billy happily. He grabbed some crayons and started drawing. The other children stared.

A large bead of sweat formed on the teacher's head. She had never encountered a class quite like this one. "Come on, children," said the teacher in an encouraging tone. "Look at" - she checked her roster - "Billy here. See how fun it is for him?"

Billy beamed again. The other children nodded slowly.

The teacher sighed. It was going to be a long day.

To be continued...

4th post. In which I explain myself.

2005-06-10T17:00:00.000-07:00

Now that people may actually end up reading this, I should probably explain myself, since I'm not the sort of person who would normally bother with setting up a blog.

Firstly, why I've created a blog. I thought that since some of us could be going halfway across the world for college, it would be difficult to keep in contact with MSN. And I really suck at email correspondence, so this is really the only way I can keep everyone updated on the sordid details of my military life. And my life beyond the military, if I survive.

Secondly, why I've created a blog with such a boring layout. I happen to like it, actually - I think it reflects my squarish personality.

Thirdly, why the URL is grumpyearthdragon. There is actually a story behind this. This blog used to be called redearthdragon, for a very short period of time. I shall now illustrate the reasons for my original selection.

Top ten reasons why I initially used "redearthdragon":

1. I am an earth dragon by the Chinese zodiac. This means I am either 17, 77 or 137 this year.
2. The banner up there is red. Kind of. It's actually more maroon but indulge me a little.
3. I also chose red because Ray starts with "r."
4. The first letters of the words "Red" "Earth" and "Dragon" spell "RED." Clever huh.
5. "earthdragon" was unavailable so I had to pick an adjective.
6. I like the earth. I dislike deep water because sea monsters could rise up from the depths of the ocean and swallow you. I also dislike flying. I prefer solid ground, thank you very much.
7. Dragons are universal creatures. Everyone understands dragons, including Western people. I doubt that "redcenturyegg" would have the same effect.
8. I can draw cartoon dragons. Incidentally, I can also draw them with a red pen.
9. My dog once sneezed onto a cushion with a dragon pattern on it.
10. I needed a tenth reason.

But as you can see, I changed "redearthdragon" to "grumpyearthdragon". This is why:

1. I went and googled "redearthdragon" and found it was the email address for some werewolf-obsessive person. So, um, no. BUT I just went back and searched Google again and that result is no longer there. So I changed my address for nothing! Arg!
2. In any case, all the letters "r" "a" and "y" are present in "grumpyearthdragon." So I've kind of decided I like this one better. It glorifies me more.
3. I am often grumpy.

Whew, that was long. I feel fulfilled.

3rd post

2005-06-10T16:10:00.000-07:00

Woop... ok, I am back from Lanjut. I could be in Genting now but it would've been too much trouble for Adrian and co. to come down to KL to get me the very day after they arrived, so they are amusing themselves in the theme park whilst I wallow sacrificially here.

In any case, I need to be in church this Sunday to support/explain our exciting new proposal for the reformation of the youth ministry. So I didn't really waste any time in Lanjut. I'm thinking positively.

It was actually quite fun. Got to know a lot of people better - it's really cool, everyone's like a big family (which is technically true since we are all in God's family after all, haha). People take prawn crackers out of your bag without asking and such. It's neat. I got to play croquet at the resort - I'm not half bad if I do say so myself (golf helps). Nailed a couple of eagles. So I guess I'm all set for my old age now.

Alright, I've gone and put up a link to our UWC blog. Now the next step is to put up a link from that blog to this one. Though I doubt anyone will notice for a very long time. Wahaha.

2nd post

2005-06-04T22:05:00.000-07:00

Off to church camp (me! leading worship! *gulp*) in Lanjut tmrw. Maybe when I come back I'll actually do something about those "Edit-Me!" links that really should be changed into something useful.

As a side note I took the SAT II math-2 and bio-M tests today. Just so I'll remember this day, you know, for posterity.

1st post

2005-06-03T22:50:00.000-07:00

Ok... I finally caved and created a blog. Wonder if I'll actually use this. Oh well. I must be really bored.